once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
