Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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