Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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