Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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