I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
