Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
