it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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