how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
