i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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