He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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