When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
