Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
