so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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