we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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