Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Omg I joined a choir last night...
PANTIES FOUND
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