this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
