...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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