It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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