ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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