Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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