She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
