He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
