I think scott just propositioned me for sex
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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