ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
