I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Operation Purity has been aborted
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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