yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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