whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
