Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
