Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
