Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
