no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
