woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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