I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm passing your future prison.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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