I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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