i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
