not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
