dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
