Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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