pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
