i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
