Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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