She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
