So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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