I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
