Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize