I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize