omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Best friends brother. Beat that.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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