i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
