And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I will pee on everything he values.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
