so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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