I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
