Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
