i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
