He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
