your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
