covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
