I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
