I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
