More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
