I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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