I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
