If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If I die, sorry about rent.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
