I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
